'How can we feel without feeding what we are feeling '
is a question that came up for someone this week in response to the
‘Monday Muse’ email I sent a couple of weeks ago. That email was about feeling whatever we are feeling rather than running away from it –
but feeling it without feeding it. (Posted below on 8/18).
Being with feelings fully is very different than
being with feelings while feeding them with a story.
Feeding feelings with thoughts deflects us from feeling fully.
Stories take the edge off of feelings.
When we stay in our head with our feelings
we are not really feeling them.
It’s more like we are thinking them.
When we feel feelings without feeding them we are not in our head.
We’re not thinking about the feelings –
why we’re feeling this way because of what they said or did
or what we said or did.
To feel feelings fully may initially be uncomfortable -
it's like walking into the unknown.
When we are with the raw sensations of feelings
it may even feel like we will die.
The heart may race, the body may shake, the breath rate increase,
tears may come, the heart may feel like it will burst,
the body may get cold or hot,
the muscles may tighten, the stomach may hurt –
and we may notice thoughts that are trying to grab our attention.
But when attention is not fixated on anything
there is then the opportunity to not only be aware of
all that is moving through –
but to be aware of what is always here.
To walk into the fullness of feelings may feel as if you are walking to your death -
but it is a walk that you will not regret.
Do you find that the more you expect your surroundings, others, or yourself
to be a certain way the greater your discontent?
"My house and yard need to look just so and then .... I'll feel okay."
"Others need to say and do certain things and then .... I'll be at peace."
"The politicians just need to all get along and 'do the right thing' and then ....
I'll know peace."
"I need to stop doing this or start doing that and then .... all will be well."
With expectations we try and control, manipulate or fix -
and we are forever projecting into the future.
We believe nothing now is good enough, for long anyway.
We feel strongly that we know how to fix whatever now
doesn't feel quite right and so we are then in conflict
with our house, yard, children, partner, the politician, or ourself.
And we feel that it is this very conflict that will somehow bring us peace.
'The head' is adamant that nothing is as it should be and
peace is just not possible until ....
(Read More tab is bottom right)
So many people now are having glimpses of peace yet often have periods throughout the day when they feel that peace is gone. It seems to be here one moment and gone the next and this back and forth and in and out can be very confusing for a time.
For me, after the initial glimpse of peace, there was a lot of forgetfulness. I would know and sense wholeness and then in the next moment be in the fog of stress and negativity. There would be the clarity of peace and then the confusion of conditioning. But somehow even in all of that in and out of clarity whenever I felt peace to be gone, rather than assume that to be true - I ‘looked’ directly. Again and again and again and again. For quite some time, this was my sole purpose. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, whenever I remembered – the sensing or confirming of what is true now was where my attention was.
But there was a moment when I was very close to being distracted from that single pointed looking or inquiry ....
Click 'Read More' below to continue
Over the past two weeks, three people have shared with me their frustration with the back and forth, in and out - between the sensing of peace and what feels like it’s departure.
Confusion, torment, torturous and frustration are some of the words they used to describe what it feels like to experience this in and out. And although I can fully relate with what they are going through – I also let them know that there is most definitely a way to the stability of understanding.
The back and forth, in and out is only for a time – IF we remain one pointed in our inquiry or investigation of what is true and what is false and do not stop until we are convinced.
There is no judgment at all if people become distracted from this investigation - but it is very helpful for them to acknowledge that when distracted then that is what they will experience – a distraction from Truth.
Honesty at every single step paves the way for the deeper, fuller realization of Truth.
(Stay tuned … next post will give an example in my own experience of how 'sneaky' these distractions can be.)
For most people it’s easy to see how we can’t bomb our way into world peace but for some reason it’s not so easy to see how we can’t ‘bomb’ our way into inner peace.
The universal principle that peace is not only the end but the means makes complete sense – when it relates to world peace. But somehow when we turn within to inner peace the understanding that peace is also the means doesn’t seem to make sense.
Many seekers continue to believe that they need to try and change or fix or eliminate thoughts and feelings and don’t consider the possibility of simply being peaceful with them.
It is all very simple. Instead of seeing things imagined, learn to see them as they are. When you can see everything as it is, you will also see yourself as you are. It is like cleansing a mirror. The same mirror that shows you the world as it is, will also show you your own face."
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
"No problem can be solved
from the same
level of consciousness
that created it."
To see new solutions
we must see differently.
all blog post will be
emailed to you.