'How can we feel without feeding what we are feeling '
is a question that came up for someone this week in response to the
‘Monday Muse’ email I sent a couple of weeks ago. That email was about feeling whatever we are feeling rather than running away from it –
but feeling it without feeding it. (Posted below on 8/18).
Being with feelings fully is very different than
being with feelings while feeding them with a story.
Feeding feelings with thoughts deflects us from feeling fully.
Stories take the edge off of feelings.
When we stay in our head with our feelings
we are not really feeling them.
It’s more like we are thinking them.
When we feel feelings without feeding them we are not in our head.
We’re not thinking about the feelings –
why we’re feeling this way because of what they said or did
or what we said or did.
To feel feelings fully may initially be uncomfortable -
it's like walking into the unknown.
When we are with the raw sensations of feelings
it may even feel like we will die.
The heart may race, the body may shake, the breath rate increase,
tears may come, the heart may feel like it will burst,
the body may get cold or hot,
the muscles may tighten, the stomach may hurt –
and we may notice thoughts that are trying to grab our attention.
But when attention is not fixated on anything
there is then the opportunity to not only be aware of
all that is moving through –
but to be aware of what is always here.
To walk into the fullness of feelings may feel as if you are walking to your death -
but it is a walk that you will not regret.
it is likely you would see that the child is mistaken. You would see that it is only
the child’s understanding that needs ‘to be fixed’ – not the actual child.
Why is it then that when we 'mature'
we become so darn convinced
that it is who we actually are that needs to be healed?
What We Are or Our Understanding of What We Are?
And what profound implications there are if it is in fact
solely our understanding of what we are that needs to be healed - not what we are!
“Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me I’m the gingerbread man!”
is a line from one of my four year old granddaughter’s favorite books.
The gingerbread man cookie, although made to be eaten, runs away
from those who are trying to eat it. But finally, at the end of the story,
he is gobbled up.
When I first read this book to my sensitive granddaughter I wondered
if she would be upset by the ending. But she wasn’t.
It seems she understood the purpose of the gingerbread man cookie
was to be eaten.
The gingerbread man reminds me of us –
when we are out of touch with why we are here.
We run away when we don’t know our purpose is to remain.
We run away when we are bored or restless.
We run away when we are anxious, upset, stressed, fearful.
We run away to activity – any at all will do. Rather than remain and
feel our feelings we scroll through social media, write an email, pick up a book, project blame, call a friend, get something to eat, go shopping, clean the house,
organize a closet, watch a Youtube clip – run, run, run, run.
We look for something to do rather than just remain and allow the raw feelings of boredom, restlessness, unworthiness, anxiety, or fear to fully be felt
without buying into a story about any of it …
‘see’ what is on the other side of it all, so to speak …
and then, from a place of peace, clarity and freedom, move.
My heart goes out not only to those directly impacted by the recent violence in El Paso and Ohio but to those who perpetrated the violence -
as well as those who incite violence.
We can't live well with others
if we are not living well with ourself.
When we are suffering we lash out -
and regardless if this lashing out takes on a more subtle form such as blame, judgment, manipulation, control or a less subtle form such as bullying, physical abuse or murder - it is all really coming from the same place of confusion.
When we're not confused ... when we're clear ...
we're open, light, at peace, still.
And our actions are loving and wise.
May more and more of us come to know - really, really know -
the PEACE that is the essence of our very nature.
Do you find that the more you expect your surroundings, others, or yourself
to be a certain way the greater your discontent?
"My house and yard need to look just so and then .... I'll feel okay."
"Others need to say and do certain things and then .... I'll be at peace."
"The politicians just need to all get along and 'do the right thing' and then ....
I'll know peace."
"I need to stop doing this or start doing that and then .... all will be well."
With expectations we try and control, manipulate or fix -
and we are forever projecting into the future.
We believe nothing now is good enough, for long anyway.
We feel strongly that we know how to fix whatever now
doesn't feel quite right and so we are then in conflict
with our house, yard, children, partner, the politician, or ourself.
And we feel that it is this very conflict that will somehow bring us peace.
'The head' is adamant that nothing is as it should be and
peace is just not possible until ....
(Read More tab is bottom right)
It is all very simple. Instead of seeing things imagined, learn to see them as they are. When you can see everything as it is, you will also see yourself as you are. It is like cleansing a mirror. The same mirror that shows you the world as it is, will also show you your own face."
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
"No problem can be solved
from the same
level of consciousness
that created it."
To see new solutions
we must see differently.
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