Category: Happiness

The Amazing Power of Observation

12/13/2019

For decades I had a ‘monkey mind on steroids’ –
thoughts were constantly running, often repetitive
and largely negative and guilt producing.
It was not a very enjoyable way to live, to say the least.

And even after the initial glimpse of Wholeness
that monkey mind on steroids kept going.
The negative and repetitive nature of my thinking
did not slow down one bit for quite a while.

But even though all of that kept running – a few things did change.

I began to be aware of the running thoughts and
I began to be aware of my sense of Self when my attention was closed in on thoughts
and, most significantly, I began to be aware of my sense of Self
when my attention was open to simply observing the thoughts.

This was absolutely amazing!

Nothing had changed but everything had changed.

Awareness of thoughts running through rather than having attention hooked into them…
Awareness of the false sense of Self when attention is hooked into them …
And awareness of the true sense of Self when we are simply observing thoughts.

We are The Sky:
The Sky observes clouds without confusing itself to be what it is observing

Gratitude Now - Rather Than When

11/30/2019

In the midst of chores can there be gratitude – or only when chores are done?

Just the other morning while hanging up my pants
there was full Gratitude as I watched my hand placing the pants on a hook.

There was nothing else in that moment but that.

Although there was a lot scheduled for that day
without projection of what still 'needs' to be done
there was no missing what is Now.

Gratitude now
as we take a step,
wash a dish,
chop the onions …
nothing else but this.

During this busy season,
may each of us know this Gratitude
more and more deeply
as we are fully present to and enjoy whatever we are now doing.

A Grateful Heart Sees Beauty and Feels Joy Now

The Wine Bottle and Love's Possibility

11/3/2019

Although the following true story (included with permission) about the conflict created by the placement of a wine bottle may seem extreme it is a good illustration of how conditioning often plays out in relationships - and how there is another way.

Sue was married to Joe and he never seemed to put the wine bottle in the place she wanted. Every evening he had a glass of wine and every evening he put the bottle back in the wrong spot according to Sue. She told him this upset her and that she wanted it put back where she showed him.

He, as usual, agreed that he would do as she wanted. But then a couple of nights later she watched from another room as he poured his wine and moved to put the bottle back in the spot she wanted but then he paused and put it in the place she didn't want. She was furious but didn't say a word.

Joe often withdraws rather than face conflict with Sue.
He complies even though he is seething within.
He isn't being honest with himself or Sue.

Sue demands.
She feels she is right and he is wrong and there is one way to do things.
But she also sometimes withdraws and seethes,
as she did when she didn't say anything about what she saw.

When we know the wholeness of Presence
the conditioned reactions of withdrawing and demanding
gradually fall away and more freedom to respond
in love and wisdom comes to the forefront.

Rather than withdraw we can respond with authenticity and set boundaries with those who try to place demands on us and rather than demand others do things as we think they should we can lovingly allow them their freedom –which occasionally may include voicing our preferences but always with an honesty that it is truly only a preference and not a demand.

But – this freedom to respond rather than react often comes to the forefront when we first go through the discomfort of not reacting.

Reacting to whatever is happening by withdrawing or demanding (or earning – more on this in the next post) at a certain level feels comfortable. Withdrawing or demanding feels familiar and not as risky as not withdrawing or demanding.

The unconditioned response that comes with being present often initially feels very, very risky. The discomfort when we pause rather than react may be quite intense for a time. But when we allow the discomfort fully without acting on it those conditioned patterns gradually lose their intensity and wise, loving responses come to the forefront.

For Joe to stand before Sue’s demands fully present and not withdraw he may feel a lot of discomfort within. His heart may pound, his breathing may become labored and he may feel sick to his stomach even as he just considers being honest and loving in communicating how he wants his freedom to be honored. But if he allows and moves through that discomfort as he senses his true Presence, a new way of being and expressing love will begin to reveal itself to him.

For Sue, in full presence, to observe Joe’s actions as he does things the way he does them and not to voice a demand may feel very uncomfortable for her. She may feel extremely agitated within, it may feel intolerable not to tell him what she wants him to do. But if she allows and moves through the discomfort and senses her true Presence, a new way of being and expressing love will begin to reveal itself to her.

Freedom in relationships is honored when we know and honor our own freedom.

It's Not About Adding But Subtracting

10/10/2019

When we have glimpses of peace we often get the wrong impression about it all. We think peace is caused by something because it seems to appear as a result of us adding something.

There are so many things we believe we need to add to try and experience peace –substances such as alcohol, nicotine, drugs, food or activities such as cleaning the house, watching TV, playing video games, finding someone to love, listening to music, having sex, meditating, learning something …
the list is endless.

And the reason we believe adding something will bring us peace is because it seems to work – in part at least.

Adding something seems to give us a hit – a temporary fix of peace -
but it never lasts.

So … I want to invite you to consider looking at this all from a completely different perspective – and then to test out this new perspective in your own experience.

Rather than the view that peace is caused when we add something –
be open to the possibility that peace is revealed (not caused)
when we subtract something.

When we walk in nature, listen to music, meditate or do any enjoyable activity and sense peace – we are not resisting anything. We have ‘subtracted’ all resistance to now. We are open and as that openness we sense peace – peace which is actually ever present, uncaused by anything at all.

And to discover if this is in fact so,
I invite you to test it out within your daily life.

Let go of all resistance and trying to figure anything out -
and see if peace is here now ...

Not just when you are meditating but when you feel hurt by something someone did or said.

Not just when you are walking in nature but when you are walking into work.

Not just when you are reading spiritual material but when you are looking at the unwashed dishes or muddy floor.

Not just when you are eating something you enjoy but when you notice hunger and the desire to eat.

When we are open enough to subtract all resistance to Now
the peace and simplicity of Now reveals itself.

When our eyes and heart are free of debris we can see and sense clearly.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

How Can What Feels Natural Not Already Be The Case?

10/6/2019

When we consider what feels natural this gives us a clue about what is True –
True with a capital T.

After all, how can what feels natural – universally – not be innate to us all?

This is why everyone everywhere in every time seeks peace, happiness, love.

Regardless of when and where we are born –
Truth is not beholden to either time or space.

Sensing what is natural again and again and again and again
opens the way for us to trust it.

And trust opens the way for us to more fully live it.

Sensing leads to trusting and trusting leads to living

Heart Wide Open

9/6/2019

What I often find in this never ending ‘awakening to Stillness’
is that first there is an insight – and then come challenges to that insight.

It’s as if Life says,
“Okay – you’ve now had a glimpse – are you up for more?
If so, hold onto your hat. It may get a bit rough for a while.
Love can sometimes seem that way.
Because for stability to take hold, what you’ve glimpsed must now be confirmed
in the very midst of conditions that seem to contradict what you’ve glimpsed.”

It’s like when you take a walk in nature or look at the night sky
or read a spiritual book
and everything in you relaxes
and you have a deep insight that ‘All is well’.
Nothing is wrong.
In every cell of your being you sense that nothing at all is lacking.
In that moment there are no conditions that seem to be getting in the way.

And then … Life may start out with some ‘benign’ conditions
that seem to contradict that insight ….

You get a phone call from a telemarketer or you stub your toe on a log
or a family member calls for your attention
and the ‘All is well’ insight seems to go down the drain.

You feel annoyed and stressed and life seems difficult.
A moment ago all seemed well and now all seems wrong.

If you take a moment, however, to ‘go from the head to the heart’
to see now if peace is indeed here
even in the midst of the seemingly contradictory condition
of the throbbing toe or memory of the telemarketer or the family member’s need –
you then have the opportunity to see whether or not it is indeed true that
‘All is well’ even with those particular conditions.

And then … because Life always wants to bring us to the understanding
that NO condition at all
impacts the truth of the deep insights we have into the nature of Reality –
we then have the opportunity to experience
many different kinds of conditions
that seem to impact the truth of what we have glimpsed.

The insight ‘I am not my thoughts’ may then lead to some challenging conditions
which bring on an onslaught of repetitive, negative seeming thoughts.

The insight “I am not my feelings or feelings are meant to flow’ may then
open up some challenging conditions which then bring on a flood of
intense, negative seeming feelings.

The insight ‘I am not my body or I am that which does not die’ may
then open up some challenging conditions with the body.

For a time the going may get rough
but when we are open …
when we come to the understanding that all of these challenging conditions
are loving opportunities to discover and confirm
what is Unconditional –

we are then in conscious cooperation with this awakening.

And when we are in full conscious cooperation with Truth
our arms are wide open no matter what condition comes …

and clarity begins to dawn

and with clarity -
peace, love and freedom.

With a full hearted YES to Life we are putty in ‘the Divine’s hand’.

Remaining Reveals Freedom

8/18/2019

“Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me I’m the gingerbread man!”
is a line from one of my four year old granddaughter’s favorite books.

The gingerbread man cookie, although made to be eaten, runs away
from those who are trying to eat it. But finally, at the end of the story,
he is gobbled up.

When I first read this book to my sensitive granddaughter I wondered
if she would be upset by the ending. But she wasn’t.
It seems she understood the purpose of the gingerbread man cookie
was to be eaten.

The gingerbread man reminds me of us –
when we are out of touch with why we are here.

We run away when we don’t know our purpose is to remain.

We run away when we are bored or restless.

We run away when we are anxious, upset, stressed, fearful.

We run away to activity – any at all will do. Rather than remain and
feel our feelings we scroll through social media, write an email, pick up a book, project blame, call a friend, get something to eat, go shopping, clean the house,
organize a closet, watch a Youtube clip – run, run, run, run.

We look for something to do rather than just remain and allow the raw feelings of boredom, restlessness, unworthiness, anxiety, or fear to fully be felt
without buying into a story about any of it …

‘see’ what is on the other side of it all, so to speak …

and then, from a place of peace, clarity and freedom, move.

We Realize Our Freedom When We Don't Run From What Is Here and Now

<<Previous

It is all very simple. Instead of seeing things imagined, learn to see them as they are. When you can see everything as it is, you will also see yourself as you are. It is like cleansing a mirror. The same mirror that shows you the world as it is, will also show you your own face."
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Einstein said,
"No problem can be solved
from the same
   level of consciousness
       that created it."

To see new solutions
   we must see differently.

RSS Feed

If you subscribe to
'Monday Muse'
all blog post will be
emailed to you.

Please email me at dhyanastanley(a)gmail.com if you have any issues with RSS FEED